Elusive Sleep

 

Some things I am thinking about:

1. Do you ever wonder if you are really good at things, or if you just THINK you are good at them?

2. Should I eat a midnight snack?  Yes, definitely.  What should it be?

3. I keep giggling over the fact that I accidentally told a co-worker (a fifty year old woman mind you) that I love her. 

4. I may be getting rid of this blog soon.  You can e-mail me if you want the details.  All three of you that actually read this that is, hahaha. 

5. I am quite close to finishing my quilt and am really excited about it. 

6. I’m ready for a vacation.

7. I miss seeing my Spencer!  A LOT!

8. I am excited to go to the county fair this weekend.  Super excited actually.

9.  I feel achy achy bo bakey.  I am contemplating amputating my shoulders. 

10. I may be getting sleepy so it’s time to end this weird post and say goodnight. 

“Goodnight.”

Piles of Ideas

Lately I have been spending lots of quality time at the Library.  My current fetish has been with home decorating books.  I have checked out STACKS and STACKS of them to bring home and pour over.  Spencer continues to tease me about my love for picture books.  I do; I love lots of pictures. 

The thing is, this has been my first opportunity in life to REALLY decorate, not counting our itty-bitty one bedroom apartment with cinderblock walls (which I don’t because we couldn't even hang pictures up for pete’s sake).  So, I have been decorating with gusto since we got here. 

I have discovered two main problems during this endeavor of creating our home. 

1. I have the hardest time committing to a style!  I like this and that and this and that.  I tear pages out of magazines and bookmark ideas in my stacks of library books.  I save inspiring pictures I find on the internet.  But my tastes are kind of everywhere.  Even settling on a color scheme is a huge task for me.

2. There is simply not much room in the budget for home decorating. 

But, S L O W L Y very S L O W L Y we have worked on really making our little house our own.  Our decor is pretty simple.  We don’t own anything expensive.  Most of our furniture was free and much of the décor was handmade by yours truly.  It has taken us months and months for us to get things to look just the way we wanted.  Sure there’s things we would change if money would allow, but we are totally in love with our little space. 

Plus, I have this philosophy that no matter how simple your decor may be, a house can look fantastic as long as it is clean!  I LOVE cleaning.  I really do.  Give me cleaning over cooking any day.  And it has been so fun to take care of our little place.  So even though it’s not the fanciest, at least it is usually pretty tidy.  We also try to be careful what we allow into our home so that it is a place where we can always feel the spirit.  And that is, of course, the most important part of a home anyways.  

Well, now that I’ve blabbed on and on, I thought I would share some of my favorite library book finds.  If I absolutely HAD to pick a style, it would probably be Shabby Chic… enter designer Rachel Ashwell.  I really like her taste.  Her homes are always really light and airy.  Take a look at a couple of pictures from her book.   

Holy beautiful.  I love that white piano.  And I must figure out how to obtain that ocean front view. 

 

My picture of a picture just doesn’t do this room justice.  Still, I love her “casual thrown-together yet everything matches perfectly” style.  And, I love that she has fresh flowers all over her house. 

The dishes!            Be still my heart.            SO LOVELY!  I wish my dishwasher looked like that, I tell you what.  But I was so inspired that I have started collecting pink china as well.  I only have one or two pieces right now, but someday, many moons from now, I will have a whole dishwasher of happy mismatched vintage plates also.  It has been really fun to hunt for pieces one at a time at thrift stores.  

Someday soon I’ll have to share pictures of our cute little house.

Hard to Come By

When I decided to start a blog as sort of a therapy for our struggles in infertility I thought the blog should have a fun/funny url.

Here's a list of a few urls I came up with:

1. infertilityme.blogspot.com
2. gospermgo.blogspot.com
3. wannabeamomma.blogspot.com
4. adventuresinbabymaking.blogspot.com

The funny thing is all of those were already taken (along with a few other cool ones that I tried to adopt but can't remember their names right now).  This current url was probably my seventh choice.  But whatev.

The point is, that there are lots of people who want what we want and can't have it either.  Even though I joke that I don't know anyone besides us in this situation, I know there are people who feel as we do.  And they're taking all of the good infertility urls.  And we're all coping with the situation by spilling our guts on the internet.

But in all seriousness, I wish there was something that I could do to help all of you who want to have children but can't.  I wish I could reach out to you in some way.  One thing I hope to gain from all this, is empathy for those who struggle with infertility and a better understanding of what I can do to help them.  Because a kind listening ear and a genuine understanding for fellow infertilists (as I shall hitherto call them) is hard to come by.

Oodles of Poodles

I kept really wanting to title this post “Poodles on the Noodle.”  Admittedly, “Oodles of Poodles” isn’t much cooler, but when you have to use a fantastic word like “Poodle,” there are just so many fun title possibilities…

… “Poodles Love Doodles”…

… “Poodles in my Strudel…s”…

Okay I’ll stop.

A couple of weeks ago we puppy sat these little cuties.  Lizzy LOVED the poodles so much.  She followed them all around the house trying to get them to play with her.  I’m not sure they loved her as much as she loved them, but it was fun to have them over.  Yes, I pose dogs for pictures.  I’m weird. 

(One of these things is not like the others)

So the other day when I was in the mood to get out my clay and play for a while, I knew exactly what I wanted to make. 

I really like her little tail. 

If making a fat little poodle out of clay doesn’t make your day, I don’t know WHAT will. 

Smile

My sister, Chelsey, is about the happiest person you will ever meet.  Everywhere she goes she has a smile on her face. 

One time, when my sisters and I were quite little we were told that we had to do our Saturday chores before we could leave for an anticipated excursion.  Saturdays were probably the day of most conflict in our home because we always wanted to skip the cleaning and get right to having fun.  I’m sure some such argument had occurred and Mom sent us to our rooms to clean and shut herself up in the office.  We all sat angrily in separate rooms.  Chelsey, feeling the need to rectify the situation, scribbled the words “Chir Up” onto a crumpled up piece of paper.  She crept quietly to the office, flung open the door, hurled the piece of paper containing the all-important message onto the floor, slammed the door and ran away.

I’m pretty sure my mom still has that piece of paper.  There have been many occasions when Chelsey has “Chired” me up.  She’s the kind of person who is positive, kind, and enjoyable to be around.  She has the kind of energy that just draws people towards her.  I have tried to follow her example and always carry a smile on my face.  Sometimes it is really hard!  I don’t know that I will ever be as good at it as she is.  But I’m really grateful for her gift to see the best in people and the good in the world.  I want to be just like her when I grow up!  

One In Four

Question of the day: If one in four couples struggles with infertility, why don't I know ANYONE besides us who can't get pregnant at the drop of a hat?

Where are these other infertile couples?  I mean, I've read some of their blogs on the internet, but have never actually met one in person.  Even at the doctors office, there are usually five or six pregnant bellies to my left and seven or eight pregnant bellies to my right with my comparably flat stomach sandwiched in between all of them.  So, fellow infertile couples, are you really out there?  Do you really exist?

Scrappy Tote

I have been putting off putting this up, because it’s not the best picture of my bag.  Mostly, because it’s kind of hard to see the print on my favorite scrap of fabric (the cute little cloud print!).  I made the entire tote out of fabric scraps.  But, I can never seem to find time to snap a better photo, so you’ll just have to look at this one and know that it’s cuter in real life.  Perhaps I’ll post a better one another day.  Perhaps. Perhaps. Perhaps.  

A Nifty Little Find

I just had to share a happy moment of the day.  I found these super cute plates for 40 cents each at Hobby Lobby!  Sweet!  I have a feeling we will be eating every meal on these from now on.  Never mind that they’re little dessert plates.  They are just too happy not to enjoy every day.

Picture Frame Necklace

I had the day off, so I spent the afternoon making a huge mess in my craft room.  Here is one of my creations of the day.  AND I’m actually wearing it.  You should be so proud. 
The picture in the frame was again taken by my Lynley.  She is quite the talented photographer.  The picture of the picture frame necklace was taken by my husband. 

Today I’m Missing This…

The beach.  We went to the water park for the last time on Saturday and as I was sitting by the wave pool, letting the water lap up against my feet, I started to miss the REAL waves terribly!  This marks the first summer of my entire life that I did not visit the beach.  I am really mourning the gradual disappearance of summer this year because I feel like I didn’t get to do many of the typical summer things.  Like go on vacation, go to the ocean, relax daily by the pool…   I am not ready for the days to get shorter and delicious produce to get more expensive and less delicious.  I’m not ready to say goodbye to hot weather and shorts.  I’m not ready to let go of concerts in the park and driving with the windows down. 
That’s it, I’m just going to have to take a trip to California.  Anyone wanna come with me?
This was the last time I saw the ocean, clear back in January! 
        
(Fabulous photo taken by my favorite Lynley!)

Recent Photo Shoot

I love to capture siblings interacting with each other.  It’s so sweet when you capture their spontaneous little “friendship moments.”

Shabby Rose Necklace

I did this tutorial a really long time ago for another project, but decided to post it on here to to try and archive all of my projects in the same place. So, here it is:


You could spend $50-$100 on a rose necklace like this one, or you could make your own.  I'll show you in a few simple steps. Let's start by making a rose, shall we. I'll show you how I made one of the above flowers, and then you can make as many as you prefer in as many different colors and textures as you would like.

Step 1: Cut a strip of fabric that is about 1" to 1 1/2" wide. Don't worry if it's not perfect, it doesn't have to be!
Step 2: Tie a knot at one end of the strip of fabric.
Step 3: Now comes the fun part. Start wrapping the tail of the fabric around the end of the knot. Wrap tightly and secure every loop or two around the knot with a drop of glue.

Step 4: As you wrap, occasionally twist the fabric so that the raw edges are exposed at the top of the flower. (Here's a side view to illustrate what i am talking about). The edges will kind of fray (especially if you are using satin as I did) but that's a good thing! Embrace messy.
Step 5: As you get closer to the end of the strip, wind the fabric a little bit looser so that it falls a bit softer around the edges. Still glue just as often though, so the whole thing doesn't unwind.
Step 6: When you have just an inch or two left of the tail end, wrap it around behind the rose and glue it firmly to the back (this will further ensure that your flower won't unwind).
The behind:
The front: TA DA!
Step 7: Once you have mastered the art of making roses, and you have created several in a variety of different colors, you can glue them next to each other forming a slight arch.
Step 8: All that remains is to attach the ribbon and bows! I just glued the pom pom trim to one side and a strip of grosgrain ribbon to the other (each piece was about 12" long). Just glue it to the back of the necklace. It won't be pretty, but hey, who's gonna see it?

Step 9: Finally, I glued the jewelry latches on. Yep, glued them. I could have stitched them but I already had the glue gun out and wanted to make this as easy as possible for you. I put a drop of glue on the ribbon and attached it to one side of the clasp. Then, I put a drop of glue on the trim and wrapped it around the other side of the clasp.
You will notice that I also glued a bow on mine, just for fun! Please refer back to the ribbon tutorial here, if you need a refresher course on your bows.

Last step: Wear your necklace every chance you get!


Shopping List:

• glue gun
• glue sticks
• fabric (I used 8 different colors: 6 satin, 2 cotton)
  
• ribbon (1 1/2" for bow and 1/4" for necklace portion)
• pom pom trim
• necklace clasp

A Lesson From C.S. Lewis

It is sometimes difficult to understand why we have to go through the trials we are given.  But I think I can confidently say that EVERY trial we ever have to pass through can be used to help someone else.  If you reflect on the difficult circumstances of others, I suspect you have a special place in your heart for, and even a particular desire to reach out to, those who have experienced challenges similar to your own.  Empathy has power that sympathy simply cannot duplicate. 
Further, sometimes our trials lead us down a path that we might not have otherwise gone down.    
I am currently reading C.S. Lewis’ autobiography (Surprised by Joy).  It always fascinates me to learn about the lives of influential people.  I have recently been reflecting on this excerpt:
What drove me to write was the extreme manual clumsiness from which I have always suffered.  I attribute it to a physical  defect which my brother and I both inherit from our father; we have only one joint in the thumb.  the upper joint (that furthest from the nail) is visible, but it is a mere sham; we cannot bend it.  But whatever the cause, nature laid on me form birth an utter incapacity to make anything…. It was this that forced me to write.  I longed to make things, ships, houses, engines.  Many sheets of cardboard and pairs of scissors I spoiled, only to turn from my hopeless failures in tears.  As a last resource, I was driven to write stories instead; little dreaming to what a would of happiness I was being admitted. You can do more with a castle in a story than with the best cardboard castle that ever stood on a nursery table.
I think it is interesting that one of C.S. Lewis’ greatest blessings (his ability to influence people through the written word) sprang from his trial of being born with partially crippled hands.  And just think, his literature went on to change the world! 
Sometimes it is so hard not to ask why.  That is the most pressing question on our minds while we go through adversity, yet is almost always the most mysterious.  But I have been learning and re-learning lately that I should try to focus on asking myself what I can do to reach out to others instead of mulling over why something is happening to me.  It is SUCH a hard lesson to learn, but I appreciate the examples (like C.S. Lewis) who brighten the path. 

Cool Flowy Vest Thingy

I actually don’t know what these vest things are actually called.  Maybe just vests?  But I have seen them a lot lately, and think that they are really cute.  But not $15 cute, so I just made my own out of an oversized black PJ shirt. 
 

Just cut it like so, and stitch a seam around the edge.  I also did Some shirring on the back so it wasn’t so loose back there.  Hmmm… not the best shot of the back (especially since my hair is covering what I was trying to show you) but maybe you kind of get the idea. 

NOTE: The little fuzzy dog bum is not actually necessary to complete step 5.

Some Thoughts

As I mentioned before, I have been writing down some of my own “lectures” lately.  But I was thinking today, as I was writing, that I don’t know that “lectures” is the best thing to call them.  I have been enjoying recording some of my insights from life for myself to look back on, and hopefully for my kids and grandkids to be able to look back on too.  But, I’m certainly not an expert on life, and I don’t want anyone to think that I am condescendingly telling them the best way to live.  After all, I’m writing things down not just to remember them, but to continue to practice them as well.  Perhaps from now on I’ll just call them “thoughts.”  

I TOLD You So

One of the things we did while my family was visiting was make a ruffled skirt for Chelsey.  It’s contagious I’m telling you.  She did a really good job, I was so proud of her!

Matchy matchy. 

People always laugh at me when I introduce her as my “little” sister. 

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand…
When my sister n’ law Jen came to visit we had to make a ruffled skirt for her too. 

Would you believe me if I told you that I am still not sick of making ruffled skirts?  In fact, I still have one that I started when Jen came but didn’t quite finish yet.  I’m sure It will make it’s way on here eventually.

I am the shortest of my sisters but the tallest of my sisters in law.  It’s kind of funny. 

Are you in the mood to make a ruffled skirt yet? 

Appreciate The Sunset

  My freshman year of college, I was sitting on the bus after a particularly cold day and looking mournfully out the window at the snow covered ground while contemplating my yet unfinished homework. At each stop I would dream of the day when I would have my own car and not have to rely on public transportation. The bus stopped and a young man got on the bus taking the seat in front of me.
It was obvious that he had many struggles in life, including a mental and physical handicap. He chattered merrily with the bus driver for a little while, and then looking out the window exclaimed, “Look at that!.”
I turned to see what he was looking at and caught a glimpse of the most breathtaking sunset. The kind that you can take picture after picture of but never really capture how pretty it really was.
The young man in front of me then said, “I’m sure glad I was alive to see that!” and resumed his conversation with the driver.
It was a humbling moment. How often do I stop and look at the sunset, or the moon, or my home, or my husbands smile, or any number of beautiful gifts that surround me and say, “I’m sure glad I was alive to see that.” I have never looked at sunsets the same way since. Now when I see the sky aglow, bathed in pink and purple I can’t help but think about the many blessings I enjoyed that day. No matter how bad the day was, I’m sure glad I was alive to see the sunset.

Lectures

I recently read The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch.  It is a powerful book and has given me a lot to think about.  As a consequence, I have begun writing my own lectures.  They are really mostly a collection of memories that mean a lot to me and contain advice that I would share with others if I ever got the opportunity.  It has been a good exercise that I would highly recommend for anyone.   You learn a lot about yourself when you reflect on life’s most powerful lessons and try to record your own personal legacy.  Perhaps I will post a few of my lectures on here. 

Cupcake Candle Holder

I don’t post tutorials very often, but here’s one I did for a project a while back.  Enjoy! 
 
Step 1: Create the base of the cupcake. Just mold the clay into a cylinder shape. It doesn't have to be fancy, because in the end you are going to cover it up with the cupcake wrapper anyway.

Step 2: Now we will be making the cupcake top. First, roll your clay into a long snake shape. Make sure that it gets more slender towards the end and is pointed at the tip.
 
Step 3: Coil the snake around itself.  Make sure you wind loosely, so there is room for the candle to fit into a hole in the top.  Also, be sure to end with the pointed tail up. 

Step 4: Now we're going to make some little rose embellishments. Roll another coil much smaller than the first one, perhaps about as wide as a toothpick. Then flatten the whole piece. Coil the piece around itself. As you go wider, wind loser so that the rose is tighter in the center and loser towards the outside edges.
 
Step 5: Now we are going to make the wrapper for the cupcake. Cut a piece of paper about 1 1/4" by 10". Then fold it every 1/4" accordion style. Glue the end pieces together, forming a ring to fit around the cupcake base.

Step 6: Bake your cupcake. Once it has cooled, I painted a layer of glaze over the frosting top. I also tied a bow around the paper as a finishing touch. Simple but beautiful!