Life is Hard and Then You Die

That is one of my dad’s favorite expressions.  He is not a negative person, I promise.  Mostly, he just used to tell us this when we would whine about having to do things were were supposed to do, like help clean up the kitchen. 
I don’t know why, but Sundays are the hardest day of the week.  For some reason they are really discouraging. 
Yesterday I was crying for no good reason and Spencer asked me what was wrong.  For some reason I have a hard time saying what is really bothering me so Spencer has to coax it out of me.
The thing is, I didn’t know exactly what was bothering me.  It was a lot of things.  I have been stressed over job hunting.  I am anxious to move forward in life.  I am worried about finances.  I am frustrated that my fibromyalgia has really flared up lately, and I haven’t felt well.  I am annoyed that even though I try to manage my stress in healthy ways, my body is really reacting to the strain it’s under.  I am tired because I can’t sleep.  I am emotional because the clomid is messing with my system and my hormones are really out of whack. 
Eventually, I burst out yelling, “I AM JUST SO SICK OF THINGS NEVER WORKING OUT FOR US!!!  I DON’T THINK THINGS ARE EVER GOING TO WORK OUT!!!” I probably looked like a two year old.  I even pounded my fist on the bed while my face was buried in my pillow.
Spencer didn’t tell me to grow up (that’s what I would have told me, I think).  Instead, he calmly suggested, “You don’t really think that, you know things will get better.”
“Yeah,” I agreed.  Then after a long pause, “After we die…maybe.”  Then I laughed because my extreme pessimism was so ridiculous.  Spencer laughed too because suddenly the situation seemed a little funnier. 
A good nights sleep and a fresh day can do wonders for a bad attitude.  I’m a little embarrassed by yesterdays tantrum.  Today I feel much better and have spent a little bit of time this morning happily typing away at my laptop.

There is a most lovely blog that makes me want to get out my camera and play:

{via farmgirl in flipflops}

{via Simplyhue}

{via Simplyhue}

I am just so in love with everything she does.  Her work is too dang beautiful.  :: sigh:: Go take a look!  And I am now on the hunt for a yellow and white striped umbrella.