Hope

Well, no baby this month.  Darn.  Yesterday was really difficult.  I cried in Spencer's lap.  I cried to my mom on the phone.  But, that was yesterday.

Today.  Today I am more hopeful.  I don't know why.  Because it didn't work.  I still don't know why it won't work.  I still don't know when it will work.  And, most of my friends still have babies/are pregnant.  But, I feel hopeful today, even though I am doubled over with cramps and have been taking pain pills like crazy (but not overdosing, mind you). 

I am hopeful because I have felt Heavenly Fathers love for me a lot the past few days.  I know that he is mindful of me and our little family.  I know he has a plan for me.  I know that I will get to be a mom... someday.  I am grateful that he has given me hope to get me through the hard times.  So though no answers have come, I have a good feeling in my heart.  I am going to do all I can to hold on to it.