Tuesday, February 14, 2012



To be honest we aren’t the biggest celebrators of Valentines Day around here.  GASP.  I know.  We don’t hate V Day by any means, we just don’t do a whole lot to mark the holiday.  We’re not scrooges or anything, we just don’t go all out. 

Since our family received our recent sad news, it seems like infertility has been especially biting.  And I was doing so well too!  Most people have been so kind to us and sensitive to our loss.  But there are always some that don’t understand.  Some who don’t know how we could possibly mourn the loss of a baby that was never ours. 

Let me assure you, we can.  The pain we have felt over losing the baby we had waited for for three years and planned on for three months was very real.  It was the loss of a dream.  Again.  Believe me, just because I wasn’t pregnant does NOT mean that our loss was any less excruciating.  Please, please, do not diminish what we are going through.

So what does all this have to do with Valentines Day?

Valentines day: Singles :: Mothers day: Infertiles

Our recent family trauma has reminded me, yet again, of all the others who also wait.  Waiting can be so hard.  Reminders can be so painful. 

It has been hard to wait for little ones to come to our family.  But thank goodness I have my Spencer!  I know so many wonderful, amazing, people who are still waiting to find their sweethearts.  Who would love to be married and have a family of their own, but who have not had the opportunity.  Their wait is difficult too.  And I guess my mind is just on those sweet friends of mine today. 

Love is a great thing to celebrate!  I guess I am just mindful of those who don’t have someone to celebrate with.

I hope all my friends, especially the ones who are waiting, have a wonderful happy day!



  1. What a good analogy and a sweet thought. You have great empathy Whitney. Waiting for any righteous blessing is so difficult, and days like Valentine's and Mother's Day really can be extra painful...

    Still praying for you and Spencer. Hope you have a good day friend. Thanks for sharing this beautiful post.

  2. So true. I hope you have a happy day today too!

  3. I think your analogy is perfect. I hadn't thought of Valentine's Day quite that way before, but you're so right.

    And I felt exactly the same way when we were struggling with infertility and waiting for our first adoption. As hard as it was to wait, I was so thankful for my sweet husband.

    And I'm sending hugs...you have a right to mourn this loss because it is a very real one. Even with the children we've been blessed with, we still think of the boy we were not able to adopt after all.

  4. I often think of that analogy, too. So many of us experience the trials of waiting, and those who don't just don't understand how painful it is. I'm so sorry that your adoption fell through. I admire your strength and the grace with which you've handled this trial. Praying you find your baby soon.

  5. I love the analogy and you are so right. I know I can get through anything with my beloved husband by my side and I am so grateful and lucky to have him. I can only imagine the loneliness and doubt that singles feel. Also, I am sorry about the failed adoption. (((loves)))

  6. I've thought about this a lot too. You don't see any "Hoping to Marry" buttons out there.

    Thinking of you.

  7. I've thought about this a lot too. You don't see any "Hoping to Marry" buttons out there.

    Thinking of you.

  8. Dear Whitney
    Peoples insensitivity is amazing to me sometimes. Whether the baby is growing in your womb or someone elses, if you love it then it is a loss when things don't work out. No one would begrudge a family mourning a miscarriage and that is how you should be treated.
    I am so sorry for your loss and I love your analogy.
    My prayers are with you and I know that when you are blessed with a baby it will be the luckiest baby on this earth.

  9. Wish I could take some of the hurt away for you guys. This is as real as real gets, and you have every right to mourn this loss. I'm so sorry for your pain. Please know that you and all involved are in my prayers.

  10. Oh, I am so sorry for your hurt! I stumbled upon your blog via Pinterest and featured it today on Party of Four giving it the Liebster Blog Award.


    We too are waiting to adopt a child. There are no words to describe it.

  11. Waiting is truly so hard, especially when you have no control or power to do anything to speed things along. I hope your waiting ends soon.

  12. That's so true. Great analogy. And I hope no one else diminishes or dismisses your loss- your feelings are valid and I too, am glad you have Spencer by your side. :)