Exquisite

You may or may not remember this photo.  It was posted on this blog a long time ago (here), but was taken long before that.  In fact, it was taken over three years ago at this point. 

{Photo by Lynely}

I love it.  It reminds me of my dear friend, Lynley.  One of my most favorite people in the whole wide world.  We have been through some pretty rough times together.  In fact, when we had the above little photo shoot, there were a lot of hard things going on in both our lives.  At that time, Spencer and I were just in the beginning stages of discovering that we may never be able to bear children.  It was a heartbreaking time for me. 

But my sweet Lynley and I adopted a little motto to get us through.  “Things are looking up!”  We would repeat our mantra to each other every day.  Even though sometimes one or both of us was hurting, we would remind each other that things would work out.  We were going to be happy.  Heavenly Father had good things in store. 

Fast forward three years.  Spencer and I had just adopted our little boy.  And as we drove around the town that I had called home some years earlier, I couldn’t help but marvel at where life had taken me.  When we drove past the cheerful wall that had been such a symbol for Lynley and me, I begged Spencer to stop so we could get out and take a few pictures.  

(Clearly Baby Boy was just as delighted as I was to be taking a picture in front of the hot air balloon wall :))

I could have never known during my times of sorrow what joy awaited me. 

 

Just recently, I had two different friends share the same scripture with me.  They were truly both inspired to have shared the same thing, because it is something that I have given a lot of thought to since.  Thank you, both of you, for sharing your thoughts along with this scripture. 

Alma 36:

19 And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my ^apains ^bno more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more.

20 And oh, what ^ajoy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!

21 Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.

I had never before thought of this scripture in the context of my struggle with infertility.  And now I will never be able to read it without thinking of my experience. 

Exquisite.  There couldn’t be a better word to describe it. 

And I daresay that I could never have felt such pure happiness had I not experienced the years of sorrow first.  The lows make the highs that much sweeter. 

Of course I would have been happy had my little boy and I found each other right away.  But I do think there are fewer moments together that I take for granted.  Every single second together is a gift.

I think often of my friends who are still waiting.  I wish I could tell you when your patience would be rewarded too.  I feel like I haven’t talked as much about waiting lately.  I wouldn’t want my words to sound trite because my wait is over.  I realize that it is easy for me to say from where I stand now that things will work out.  But keep looking up!  They will! 

Elder Holland said it best.

“Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come.” 

And when they come, I know that you too will remember your pains no more.