Infertility: The Board Game

I really was not bitter when I made this.  Promise.  I was just being funny.  Just finding humor in the situation.  That’s all. 

Thank goodness for Spencie.  At least I don’t have to play alone. 

Book Review: Delivering Hope

I am so excited to share an awesome read with you guys! 

I actually was contacted about this book several months ago and was waiting on pins and needles to get my hands on a copy.  I was finally able to read it for the first time yesterday and it did not disappoint.  This book was beautiful.  Meaningful.  Uplifting.  Inspiring.  I read the whole thing in one sitting. 

I don’t want to give too much away, but here’s the synopsis:

Olivia Spencer wants to be a mom more than anything else in the whole world, but years of infertility have wounded her soul and placed a strain on her marriage to Michael.  Now, Olivia finds herself wondering if the life she has built will even survive.

Allison Campbell is a recent high school graduate who discovers that a moment of excitement has led to an unplanned pregnancy and an overwhelming heartache.

As the lives of these two women touch, we see that deep love can pave the way for sacrifice, and we all learn the true source of hope and healing.

I loved the parallels between characters and the beautiful way in which each woman's story intertwined.  Olivia’s character resonated with me so strongly that at times it felt like I was reading about my own life.  The characters may be fictional, but the emotion behind this book is very real.  I truly connected with the characters through their heartache and rejoiced in their triumph.   

I actually had the opportunity to meet the author at last years FSA.  Jennifer Ann Holt is as sweet as they come.  She is giving away a signed copy of the book to two individuals, and a singed bookmark and Delivering Hope magnet to five individuals.  There are a few ways to enter:’

1. Become a follower of Jennifer’s blog:  www.jenshopefulwriting.blogspot.com and leave a comment letting her know you stopped by!
2. “Like” the Delivering Hope facebook fan page:  www.facebook.com/DeliveringHopeNovel
3. Watch the book trailer:  www.bit.ly/peCixw and post a comment on the facebook page telling what you liked about it.

The winners will be randomly chosen at the conclusion of the blog tour and posted on both Jen’s blog and the Facebook fan page by 10:00 am on Saturday, February 11th. 

Delivering Hope will be officially released on February 8th.  I’m dying for you guys to read it so we can discuss!    

Hot Air Balloon Nursery Reveal

I know I have been taking about showing pictures of the nursery for weeks now.  For the most part it’s been ready for a while, but to be honest, there are just a couple little tiny things I’m still working on, so I kept putting this off.  But I decided that I will never get pictures up if I wait to have everything 100% just how I want it.  So… here we are!  Step on in, I’ll give you the tour.   
This is my favorite room in the whole house. 

There are going to be just a couple more pictures in that lovely collage above. We want to put a picture of Baby’s birthfather up, as well as a quote I love.  You might recognize that picture of Tasha from my post here.  I made the “boy oh boy” wall art as well.  I was so pleased with how it turned out!  We have pretty much decided on a name for Baby (and no it’s not Lydio haha).  But here’s a little clue: it does begin with L :). 

I also want to put this printable I made up there somewhere, I just haven’t gotten around to printing it yet.  If you like it, feel free to help yourself to a copy :).

We did a little bit of work on that changing table and were quite proud of the final outcome.  And that lovely old luggage there…I found that at a garage sale for a couple of bucks months ago.  I knew it would come in handy for photo shoots, or in this case for diaper storage.  That little monkey fellow was mine when I was a little girl.  I LOVED monkeys (still do actually) and collected a whole fleet of stuffed monkeys.  It’s been fun to think of Baby Boy enjoying some of my childhood toys. 

I’m sure you remember these little beauties from my post here.  They are perhaps my favorite thing in the whole room.  I’m worked so hard to make them and was so pleased with how they turned out.  We kind of based the decorations for the whole room on those hot air balloons.  

B is for… balloons, bikes, Blake, baby, boy…   I LOVE this little shelf.  That little bike with a basket was a table decoration at my wedding reception!  And I do love that owl baby with his balloon.

The bunting is a bit washed out in this photo, but we love that big window that lets in so much natural light. 

In the corner between the bookshelf and the changing table is the rocking chair that we refinished.  Along with another one of the quilt creations that I made specifically to fit the theme of the room.  The child is going to have quilts coming out of his ears, I tell you what.  It has been SO fun to sew things for Baby.  I kind of can’t stop.   

Honestly, I don’t know how to make the bright colors NOT look funky on a computer screen.  The quilt looks better in real life.  Just trust me on this one. 

Oh, and Spencie gave me this clock as a Christmas present.  Isn’t it sweet?  He was so excited to find it. 
Well, I think that about concludes our tour.  Hopefully the next time you see this room there will be a cute fat baby in there :).

Missing This

Today I’m missing this place:

And these people:

It’s funny how a just a couple of weeks ago I was wearing short sleeves and basking in the California sunshine.  Now I’m wearing two pairs of socks, bundled head to toe in flannel, and watching a grey drizzle out the window.  Sigh… I’ve never been the biggest fan of winter. 

But editing these photos made me so happy!  Sunshine’s always just around the corner. 

The Fords: Help Them Find Their Baby

I had the pleasure of meeting Keira through blogging.  Though we have never met in person, I have grown to love this girl so much.  It wont’ take long for you to see why; she’s such a sweetheart!  Keira has been a wonderful support to me through our adoption journey.  She is one of those people that is very other-focused.  She is always asking how we are doing and what is going on in our lives, even though she has a lot going on in her life as well.   

I asked Keira to share a little bit of her story with all of you:

From the first date that Steve and I went on I knew he was a keeper. He opened the door for me, took my jacket and was a complete gentlemen. He's always treated me with love and respect and is genuinely looking out for me. There are times where I seriously have to pinch myself because I always am thinking how did I get so lucky?  Steve is my best friend. my better half and my eternal companion.  We work hand in hand at everything and I'm grateful it's been that way from the beginning.

Steve and I found out last year that we have infertility. It was a big gulp to swallow. We had always thought that when we were ready to have children we would have children! We tried multiple procedures to help us get our lil' one but none of the tests worked. After prayers and discussing all of our options.We both decided that Adoption was the next right step for us.

The process can be overwhelming at times, but we know that its all so worth it when we as a family can be sealed together in the temple for the eternities. Infertility has helped me to gain a better understanding of God's plan and also of my own worth. Adoption is such an amazing and humbling experience. We both know that we won't be getting just any baby, but we will be finding our baby through this process.

I wanted to share Keira’s story with you for a couple of reasons.  One, Keira is an amazing person and has a beautiful perspective on life.  And two, I wanted to help Keira and Steve spread the word.  Spencer and I have been so blessed by friends who have shared our story and our information.  We have seen miracles in our life because of so much wonderful support.  Could you please offer your support to my sweet friend too? 

Here is their family blog.  Please stop by and say hello! 

Getting Ready

When we were in Califo for Christmas, my adorable sister, Chelsey, took some photos of us.  This one is one of my faves.  It’s definitely going up in the nursery, which is turning out really cute, I’ll have to share photos soon! 

In the meantime, here is the tiniest little sneak peak of my latest quilt and puppy trying out the crib:

On Remembering

Hi friends!  Can we talk?

I have been thinking a lot about how our little family will be changing soon.  And I have been thinking a lot about how the birth of our baby will not only change our lives, but the lives of those around us.  So many of you have been such a support to me, and I want you to know that I am still mindful of our friends who are still waiting.  Something that is very important to me is that I don’t forget. 

I don’t want to forget the things I have felt or the things I have learned.  I know it hurts.  Infertility sucks.  I’ve been there!  Heck, I AM there!  I am SO grateful for the little miracle that is coming into our lives.  I am in no means diminishing how grateful I am for our baby when I say that infertility is still hard.

That’s not to say that we aren’t over the moon excited.  We are.  That’s not to say that my infertility pain will still be as great as someone who still waits with empty arms.  It won’t.  In spite of infertility, I still get to be a mom.  Adoption doesn’t cure infertility, but knowing that I can be a mother takes away a lot of the sting.  

I guess my point is that even though we are expecting our little miracle in a few weeks, I haven’t magically forgotten all of the pain from the past several years.  Nor would I want to.  I don’t say that in a “wallowing in self pity” kind of way, rather a “I know it’s hard and I’m still there for you” kind of way.  One of the things I struggle to understand is how people who at one time struggled with childlessness/infertility can seem to lose the sensitivity towards others that they used to desire for themselves.  I really don’t want to be that kind of person. 

So I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to strike a balance between voicing our excitement and allowing others to share in our joy, while remaining sensitive that our good news can also be hard news for some.  And then I worry that by telling all of you this, you might think that I am being too egocentric by thinking what I write here on my little blog even matters that much one way or another.  I overthink things.  It’s a gift.  But I did want to tell you how I’m feeling because you DO matter to me and I DON’T want to be a stinker.  I want you to know I’m trying. 

I found some articles that really helped me to process all of this.  The first is from An Infertile Adoptive Mom.  This was one of my favorite parts:

“The main thing I wanted to get across to the audience was that they did not have to "get over" their infertility in order to choose adoption. I felt like this was the best gift I could give them. It was permission for them to still be grieving their biological child while rejoicing their child who would be theirs through adoption. I told them it was OK if they still didn't want to attend baby showers, baptisms, certain family functions, or to be around pregnant women. That didn't mean that they shouldn't adopt. It means that they are infertile and always will be. That is what they have to accept.”   

Jill (from the Happiest Sad) also wrote an AMAZING blog post (it was actually a copy of her presentation from FSA) on grief.  You really should read what she had to say.  It was so insightful to learn more about grieving from a birthmother’s perspective.  And it reminded me again that even though our experiences are different, our emotions are universal.  One thing that Jill said that really stood out to me was this:

“I should also mention that you may experience several of these feelings at once. It is possible to feel more than one emotion at a time. It doesn't mean you're crazy. It means you're human. You are absolutely allowed to feel happy for someone and jealous of them at the same time. You can feel sad and happy at the same time (and I'm the "happiest sad" chick, so trust me on this one). You can feel grateful and impatient. You can feel depressed at the same time you feel a lot of love.”

Perhaps my take home message is that I know that we are all down here on earth together to help one another.  Even if my wait is winding down, I hope that I can use the things I have learned to help lift someone else.  I want to always remember. 

Made My day

I am lucky because I get to work with the most adorable elementary school students each day.  I love my job as a tutor; it is so rewarding for me to watch my little students enthusiasm for the progress they are making.  They get so excited when they are finally able to grasp a concept or answer a problem correctly.  I love watching those “light bulb” moments. 

One of my student’s asked me out of the blue one day, “Mrs. Blake, what are your fop five favorite bugs?”  I had to think for a while before supplying her with an answer.  I admit I found her question a little unusual, but kids come up with some pretty funny questions sometimes, so I didn’t think much of it. 

The next week she excitedly told me to close my eyes while she pulled a surprise for me out of her backpack.  This was her surprise gift to me:

My heart just melted.  She worked so hard to make such a thoughtful present for me; I know she spent a lot of time on drawing, coloring, and cutting out my favorite bugs.  I should have taken a close up, the little butterflies and bumblebee have eyelashes.  SO cute! 

So today this same little girl told me that she had a Christmas present for me.  She gave me a very thoughtful gift, which her mom helped her pick out, along with a handmade card.  I didn’t take a picture of the front, but here’s a peek at the inside:

She told me she prepared two fun activities for me.  I get to draw a nose on Rudolph (he’s pulling Santa’s sleigh in case you can’t tell), and I get to draw hair on the snowman. 

Adorable right?

This may be my favorite Christmas card I have ever gotten.  It totally made my day. 

Well, I’m off to go draw hair on my snowman. 

Nighty night. 

Extra Extra

Hello friends!  I don’t know if you heard our good news.  Hop on over here to read all about it.

Confidence

Even though it sounds horrible to admit, Sundays can be one of the hardest days of the week. 

Most of the time, I have a really positive attitude when it comes to adoption.  I am not at all shy when it comes to sharing my feelings about adoption with friends, family, or even the check out lady at the grocery store or person sitting next to me on the airplane.  I love it!  Adoption can be such a beautiful, wonderful thing!  I truly believe that.  I have seen miracles happen and I have seen so many lives blessed through adoption. 

Recently one of our friends commented to me, “You seem really open about discussing your experiences with adoption.”  It was one of the nicest compliments I had ever received.  I am so passionate about sharing adoption information because so much of the information out there is inaccurate or less-than positive.  I’m not generally a very, shall we say, talkative person by nature, so that our friend recognized how strongly I feel about adoption meant a lot.  Being open about most things does not come naturally to me, but I am willing to pour my heart into the things that matter most to me.  Adoption is one of those things. 

Occasionally, however, I’ll have days where I feel a little frightened. 

Adoption IS beautiful and IS wonderful, but like any potential parent (adoptive or biological) I sometimes have my worries.  “What if our child makes poor decisions?”  “What if we have lots of contention in our home and have trouble getting along?”  “What if he or she doesn’t like me?”  I know that parenting doesn’t always mean you are going to be “liked”, but I am so grateful for my parents and have a fabulous relationship with them.  They are truly some of my best friends.  I want that someday!  I want my child to have a good relationship with me.  I want them to know how much they were and are wanted.  I want them to know how much I love them. 

These worries are sometimes compounded by adoption fears.  “What if our child one day resents the fact that they were adopted?”  “What if our child is made to feel less than others because they don’t look like us?” “What if our child thinks that we don’t understand where they are coming from because we don’t share the same genes?”  Perhaps some of my concerns are silly.  What can I say, I’m kind of a worrier (Spencer or my Mom will vouch for this.  It’s very very true, bless my heart).  I do know that Satan does NOT want eternal families to be created.  I know that he will try his hardest to work on my fears.

My point is, I have had my days that are dark or discouraging.  I have had my times where I wonder if I can do it.  These days often happen to be on Sunday.  It’s hard to be surrounded by little families, when we want that so much for ourselves.  As a side note there were THREE baby blessings today (buckle up, right?).  They were beautiful blessings.  I was just feeling a little wistful waiting for our turn someday.  I feel like I don’t really fit in.  It is in those weaker moments that fear creeps in. 

It can be hard to live for what you know is right, even when the future can seem a little scary. 

Perhaps my favorite talk in the whole widest world is “Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence,” by Elder Holland.  If you haven’t heard it or read it, I urge you to do so now.  I promise it will be well worth your time.  I may or may hot have every BYU devotional given by Elder Holland memorized.  I’ve listened to them so often, I know them by heart.  But this one is my absolute FAVORITE.  In fact, this talk played a role in my relationship with Spencer (but that’s another story for another day).

Here is one of my favorite parts:

There are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been genuine illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don't give up when the pressure mounts… Don't give in. Certainly don't give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. He wants everyone to be miserable like unto himself. Face your doubts. Master your fears. "Cast not away therefore your confidence." Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you. 

I love to read this talk on the days I may be struggling.  It reminds me that I can do it.  Heavenly Father has confidence in me.  He will help me do hard things.  Our family will come together in the way it was meant to.  More importantly than having confidence in me, I have confidence in HIM.  I know that God keeps his promises.  I also know that there is power in the sealing covenant.  I will not be left alone as I am doing His work and striving to build our family. 

Maybe my child won’t always like me.  Maybe our child won’t always make perfect decisions GASP.  :).  The road to creating our family can be bumpy sometimes; I know that.  There are no guarantees. 

I love the story in Matthew of Christ walking on the water.

25 And ^ain the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea.

26 And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.

27 But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good^acheer; it is I; be not afraid.

28 And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.

29 And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.

30 But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was ^aafraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.

31 And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little ^afaith, wherefore didst thou^bdoubt?

It’s interesting that while Peter kept his sight on the savior, he was fine.  It wasn’t until he focused on the storm that be became afraid and began to sink. 

The storms going to be there.  One way or another, it just will be.  I can’t do much to change that fact, but I can chose where to put my focus.  Right now I’m trying to focus on Him.

It will be okay.   

Infertility Sensitivity

I made this outfit for my little niecelette due to make her appearance in just a few weeks!  EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  Please note that the flower is on a headband and not just awkwardly connected to the front of the onesie.  This picture would be much cuter if there was a baby modeling it, but you will just have to wait a bit longer for that one :).

I had an awesome conversation with my sister (the one who was oh so kind to sponsor the media blitz for us, also known as the one who is having the baby that is going to look so fetching in that pink/grey/black/white little number above, okay that made it sound like lingerie, but you know what I mean right? right.) the other day.

She asked me “How do you wish people would have responded when you told them about your struggle with infertility?”

Spencer and I were so grateful that she asked us this for a few reasons.  First of all, it showed that she cares.  She cares about us and our feelings, and of course we reciprocate.  Second of all, no one has ever asked me that before.  It has given Spencer and me a lot to think about and talk about.  It was so refreshing to have someone ask what we needed.

I know everyone is different, so I can’t speak for all those who have struggled with infertility, but I tried to give her some insight into our experience.  After our conversation, I wanted to share some of our thoughts with you.  While by no means is this list comprehensive, hopefully it will still provide some ideas for approaching a friend/relative who struggles with infertility.  I should also mention that Vita Alligood wrote a SUPERB article on Infertility Etiquette.  I would highly recommend that you also use her article as a resource.  I won’t try to reconstruct her ideas, but do desire to add to them.  So, without further ado, I give you:

INFERTILITY SENSITIVITY:

1. At what point do you say something to the friend you suspect is struggling with infertility?

If your friend confided in you that she is struggling with infertility, then she is asking you to be there for her through her struggle.  It takes guts to say, “Hey I have this really personal problem and I don’t want to go through this alone.”  If they say they are having a hard time then, by golly, that is them asking for a hug or a “I’m sorry, I bet that’ hard,” or something like unto it. 

If you do not know for certain whether or not your friend is struggling with infertility, then you do not need to be the one to broach the subject, but that also doesn’t mean you can’t be sensitive.  For example, if your friend has been married for three years, likes kids, says she wants kids, but doesn’t have kids… it would probably not be sensitive to ask her when she’s “gonna buckle down and have one of her own already.”  Teasing/hinting/prying/inquiring are NOT sensitive.  She may not want to spill her guts to you.  She may not need you to listen to a play by play of all her problems.  But sensitivity is always appreciated, even if she doesn’t want to talk about it. 

2. How do you know if your friend wants to talk about it or not?

Ask her.  My sister did this when we first told our family about our struggles with infertility.  She called me and said, “I don’t know if you want to talk about it, but I wanted to see how you were doing.”  It was the perfect response.  She let us know that she cared while still giving us the opportunity to take the space we needed. 

In our conversation a few days ago, my sister told me that one of her fears in approaching someone struggling with infertility is that she might ruin what would have been a good day by reminding her friend of her struggles.  Believe me, your friend will at no point forget about her infertility.  Compassion will NEVER ruin a good day.  Does that mean you need to ask about her infertility EVERY time you see her?  Of course not.  However, if you ask how she is really doing occasionally she will be so grateful.  It is better to ask how she is doing than how things are going.  “Things” will likely be the same (i.e. lots of crappy treatments, still no baby).  But she will have ups and downs, good days and bad days.  Her circumstances may not change, but the way she experiences them will. 

3. How do I tell my infertile friend that I’m pregnant?

A simple e-mail or phone call is very thoughtful.  We have appreciated friends and family members who have let us know privately that they are expecting, and that meant a lot.  A little advance notice absolutely means the world.  Large surprise announcements with confetti and fireworks are really difficult for someone struggling with infertility. 

You must understand this: Your friend is NOT upset at you for having children.  She is mourning the loss of being left behind… again.  I know it is difficult to imagine, but try very hard to put yourself in her shoes.  Think of the thing you want more than anything else in the whole world.  Then, imagine most everyone you know and love receiving that one one thing that you desire so desperately, but your arms are left empty.  Imagine seeing this happen over and over again year after year.  It’s hard.  It just is.  Understand that she is happy for you, but that your announcement will be painful.  

4. Should I invite my infertile friend to my baby shower?

Certainly.  I would add a little note explaining that you understand if it is too difficult for her to attend, but that you wouldn’t want her to feel left out because you care about her.  Don’t exclude her.  Chances are that even though she’s struggling, she is really happy for you and wants to share in your joy, whether that be by participating in the festivities or just sending a gift. 

 

I know that infertility can be a difficult subject to address.  But I’ve said it before: heart speaks to heart.  If your friend is struggling with infertility she is experiencing the trial of her life.  Your kindness and sensitivity will mean the world. 

Nature Walk

I went for a walk in the canyon today, and the view was too lovely not to share.

The colors are breathtaking this time of year.  No matter how many photos I snapped, I could just not quite do justice to the real thing…

…Not that it stopped me from trying. 

And I got to thinking about my favorite talk from conference, by Elder Cook, “It Is Better To Look Up.”  I loved that talk.  So much.  I love the concept of up.  I love that things can look up, people can cheer up, and hopes can rise up. 

When I was walking through the canyon with my eyes downcast this was all I could see:

Not much of a view is it?  When I was looking down all I could focus on was the shadows.  And look what I would have missed out on if I wouldn’t have looked up:

My walk caused me to come to the following realization: when I’m feeling downcast and only focusing on putting one foot in front of the other, I totally miss out on the beauty of the world (and even more importantly, the people) around me.  Looking down leads to self absorption.  How many opportunities I miss to reach out to those around me when I’m too busy looking at my feet. 

It really is better to look up. 

Uplifted

 

I have been reflecting on how sometimes I feel so small.  My intent is good, but often I have felt like my efforts alone don’t make enough of a difference.  I do my best, but I haven’t done anything earth shattering or world changing.  I enjoy reaching out to others, but my reach doesn’t seem to extend as far as I would like. 

Have you ever felt that way? 

It is easy to think that our influence is small.  But I have been so grateful for each contribution made on our behalf, no matter how simple.  The little things our dear friends and family members have done for us have literally meant the world.

I was recently re-reading Elder Ballard’s talk “The Atonement and the Worth of One Soul.”  He said something that has really resonated with me:

“Sadly, in today’s world, a person’s importance is often judged by the size of the audience before which he or she performs. That is how media and sports programs are rated, how corporate prominence is sometimes determined, and often how governmental rank is obtained. That may be why roles such as father, mother, and missionary seldom receive standing ovations. Fathers, mothers, and missionaries “play” before very small audiences. Yet, in the eyes of the Lord, there may be only one size of audience that is of lasting importance—and that is just one, each one, you and me, and each one of the children of God. The irony of the Atonement is that it is infinite and eternal, yet it is applied individually, one person at a time.”

I know I have fell into the habit of measuring my worth.  The number of blog followers.  The dress size.  The amount of money you make.  The number of children you have.  It is tempting to try and quantify your worth.  Everything in this world is measured by numbers.  But not the worth of souls.  The worth of souls is GREAT.  So great that no number or measurement could begin to capture the value. 

Every time someone reaches out to me I am reminded that simple acts of service are often the most meaningful and powerful.  I begin to realize anew that our influence is greater than we give ourselves credit for.

Thank you dearest friends for your support yesterday! 

 

Don’t forget to hop on over to our adoption blog and enter our giveaway. 

Don’t Be Shy

Spencer and I have chosen to be very open about our desire to adopt.  When people ask if we have children, I’m usually quick to respond, “Not yet, but we are approved to adopt our first child!”  Spencer is equally eager to share how excited we are to find our baby through adoption.

It wasn’t easy at first to readily share our hope for children.  After all, for most couples, growing their family is a very private matter.  They don’t have to tell all of their friends and family about their desire to conceive.  Sorry to put it bluntly, but it really only takes two of them to make it happen.  Of course there are individuals who struggle with infertility who need the help of doctors and support of friends and family to bring their baby home.  However, as a general rule, making a baby is a personal endeavor. 

The thing is, we know that it will be difficult to find our baby alone.

Only 1% of babies that could be placed for adoption, actually are. The vast majority of unwed mothers choose to abort or parent the child.  There are actually more couples hoping to adopt then there are babies to be adopted.       
 
That is why we ask for help. 

Our chances of finding our baby are so much greater with the assistance of friends and family.  The more adoption blog buttons that are out there, the more likely our birthmom will find our blog.  The more people who follow our blog, the more traffic that flows to our blog.  The more people who like our page on Facebook, the more likely that someone who can help us will see our adoption information.  The more people who have our pass along cards, the more people there are to share them. 

Your help is so greatly appreciated because you can help us reach so many more people than we ever could alone.


Believe me, tooting my own horn is not my cup of tea.  I have never been one to enjoy being the center of attention.  It is a little embarrassing to ask people to help spread the word.  When we sent our first e-mail sharing with family members our desire to grow our family, I was almost in shock afterwards.  I have never felt so vulnerable.  It is so hard to ask for help.  It is so hard to share the deepest desires of our hearts.

I do know that sometimes we have to ask for support to receive it.  I know that Heavenly Father is waiting to bless our family.  I also know that He desires to help those who are trying to help themselves. 

If you are a couple hoping to adopt, help Him help you.  Share your desires with others.  Ask for help.  I know it’s hard, but I do know that you will be so grateful for the support. 

My sweet sister, Shari, and her husband, Mike, are “sponsoring” a media blitz for us today.  If you would like to participate, we would be so grateful.  I know that Heavenly Father uses us to bless the lives of each other.  We are ever grateful for the support of our dear friends. 
Below are the details of the event:

Dear Friends and Family,

As most all of you know, my sister Whitney and her husband Spencer have been officially approved to adopt! I think we would all agree that they are absolutely amazing people and will be absolutely amazing parents.

Mike and I had the idea to "sponsor" a media blitz for them. Would you all be willing to help us? The idea is to use all the personal/craft/food/media blogs, facebook profiles, or any other form of social media you may have to get their names and faces out there. We will be blitzing on Monday September 26.

I know that many of you have already added Whitney and Spencer's buttons to your blogs or shared about them on FB, and we want to take that one step further - so we are asking you to please share again on one specific day. This Monday, Mike and I will be posting on our facebooks throughout the day links to Spencer and Whitney's adoption blog, profile, and FB page. We will also be writing on our blog about Whitney and Spencer. We will then in turn ask the people who see those posts to share them with people they know through facebook or blogs. We want to create a chain reaction to lead people all over the country to their adoption profile.
There's no specific time of day or number of posts that we're asking for and you can all do it in your own way. You are welcome to simply copy and paste our blog post (I will be posting Monday morning), or share our FB links. We would just love it if everyone did what they felt would be helpful.

Here is the link to Spencer and Whitney's adoption profile:
https://itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/26506714/ourMessage.jsf

And here is the link to their adoption blog:
http://spencerandwhitneyadoption.blogspot.com/

Please feel free to forward this email to any other people you think might be interested. Thank you for supporting them and we are excited to all work together this Monday!

Love,
Mike and Shari Satko

P.S. I am doing a giveaway to thank all of you lovely friends who have helped us spread the word.  Hop on over to our adoption blog to find out how to enter. 

Breaking News

 

 

 

 

(WE ARE APPROVED!)… to adopt of course.

Yes we are. Yes we are!

Hooray!

Feel free to visit our profile,

Black and White Photos

I had the COOLEST photo opportunity this weekend.  You can hop over here to see more cute pictures like this one:

Getting Our Hopes Up

My dear friend Katie sent me a link to this post.  And it has gotten me thinking. 

Our family is growing.  You can’t see it yet, but we are. 

So many times I have hoped for our baby, but not allowed myself to get too excited yet.  Adoption has quite a mysterious gestation period.  I haven’t wanted to get my hopes up too high when we very likely have a long wait ahead of us.  We could potentially be parents in a few months… or a few years.   

But what good is it to have your hopes down?

I don’t know how long we have to wait to find our baby. 

I do know that he or she is coming.  I have felt it. 

So I have let myself do a little planning.  We decided on a theme for the nursery, one that will work for a baby boy or baby girl.  And I made some vintage hot air balloon models to hang from the ceiling.  They make me so happy.  It was so much fun to make something for our baby. 

Sometimes people don’t know how to react when we tell them we are adopting.  They know, as we do, that sometimes failed placements happen and sometimes adoption can be hard.  Some well-meaning individuals have felt the need to warn us of possible worst-case scenarios.  But you don’t tell someone who announces their pregnancy, “You, know, you might have a miscarriage.”  You are happy for them and hopeful that all will go well.

There might be some bumps in the road.  However, I believe that things will work out.  I would rather live with positivity than with fear or skepticism.  We’re choosing to take problems as they come, rather than fretting about what might be.  We are not naïve, just optimistic. 

It’s a much happier way of being. 

This Makes Four

This may not be the best picture of my latest quilt (my fourth one!  Boo-yeah!), but hopefully you get the general idea.  I made this for my sister, Chelsey, for her high school graduation/going to college gift.  I was literally packing it in my suitcase when I realized that I hadn’t even taken a picture of all of my hard work before it made its way to its new home.  *GASP* So I quickly snapped a few pictures before heading out the door. 

Chelsey is a music performance major, so I found this fabric to be very appropriate.  I took Spencer with me to pick it out.  He just LOVES helping me pick out fabric, let me tell you.  It’s his favorite thing EVER.  Nothing like strolling up and down aisles of craft supplies, rubbing elbows with a bunch of coupon clutching women, while your wife agonizes over which polka dot print is best.  He’s a good sport though, he really is.  And he did tell me that the fabrics I picked out were very “Chelseyish,” which is totally what I was going for.

I was excited to realize that I’m getting a bit better with every quilt.  This was my best one yet. 

I was especially pleased that it matched the theme of her room.  I spent a lot of time sneakily urging Chelsey to get a bedspread with pink or green in it so it would match.  The quilt was a surprise gift, so I didn’t want to give anything away as I offered my humble decorating advice and subtle hints like, “I really wish I would have decorated my dorm room in pink.  It’s my one college regret.”  I’m just kidding.  Pink is her favorite color so I knew that’s what she’d pick anyways.  I wouldn’t coerce my sister in to decorating her dorm room my way. 
Right Chelsey?
Right?   

Book Launch Party and Movie Screening

So remember that AWESOME book I was talking about?  

Well, if you liked my book/movie recommendation, or even if you haven't gotten a chance to check it out yet, I have a super cool event to tell you about.  

To celebrate the book release of "My Girlfriend's Boyfriend," a launch party is being held at 5 pm on Saturday, September 10^th at Jordan Commons, 9400 S. State Street, Sandy, Utah. The fete, which is open to the public, will feature a screening of the movie beginning at 6 pm to benefit Project Read, prizes provided by local company—and a featured plotline in the movie and novel—Xlear, the makers of Spry Gum, and a book signing with Barnes & Noble. 

Plus, Elodia Strain, the author of the book, is going to be there.  So is Daryn Tuffts, the writer and director of the movie.  

How cool is that?  I am jealous of all of you people who live in Utah who have the option of attending.  I wanna go so bad!  Alas the journey would take me many moons... or at least many hours.  Sigh...  

Some of you will just have to go for me and tell me all about it.  

My Angels

I am so overwhelmed that I hardly know where to begin. 

I think one of the most painful human emotions is loneliness.  Infertility can create some very lonely times.  The time when you are sitting in church listening to a lesson on parenthood.  The time when you are at lunch with your friends trying to smile while they swap pregnancy stories.  The time when you're at a baby shower wondering if your turn will ever come.  The time when you hide out in your home on Mother's Day trying to forget that you don't fit in.  The time when you fall in a heap on the bathroom floor because it didn't work...again.  It's lonely living in a world where many people simply can't understand your pain.  

Then, the reminders that I'm not alone come.  The hand-made card in the mail.  The sweet e-mail from a person I've never even met.  The cheerful phone call.  The thoughtful text.  The unexpected visit or plate of cookies.  The warm hug.  The peaceful feeling in my heart that my Savior knows my pain and has suffered it for me.  

This morning I logged on to my e-mail to find dozens upon dozens of messages, each one containing words of encouragement and hope.  Words simply cannot describe what this means to me.  

Kari, over at Ucreate wrote the sweetest post about Spencer and me.  I am still in awe that she took time out of her busy day to do something so kind for us.  

Thank you, thank you sweet friends.  Thank you for reminding me that I am never alone!  Thank you for caring!  Thank you for your support!  Words truly seem inadequate to describe how much this means to me.  You are amazing, and I am very humbled to be the recipient of your kindness.  You are my angels.   

Chelsetto

Take a look at this picture:

This is my little sister, Chelsey.  Did you think for a second that it was a picture of me?  I am sort of creeped out how eerily she looks like me in that photo.  If I wouldn't have taken it, I might have wondered if it actually WAS a picture of me.  We look a lot alike.  In a lot of ways, we act alike too.  Even though we're eight years apart in age, she's one of my best friends.  

This girl just started her first semester of college at BYU.  I went with my parents to drop her off, and was kind of having a heart attack the whole time because my baby sister is in college!  That makes me OLD!   

I sound like a geezer saying this, but I'm going to do it anyways.  It seriously doesn't seem all that long ago when Chelsey was just a little girl.  

Even in my youth, I loved to dabble in photography.  Chelsey was often my unwilling subject.  I would bribe her to let me fix her hair and put make-up on her and let me take her picture.  I would set up my own little photography studio using a sheet as a backdrop and have Chesley pose for me for as long as her patience could stand it.  I should seriously track down some of those photos to share with you guys.  They were awesome.  

When I was looking at these senior pictures I took of her, I kind of got choked up remembering the little girl whose picture I had taken so many times.  

She's all grown up.  She's all grown up and so beautiful and off on her own big adventure.  How did that happen so fast?

I am so grateful for her example.  She is so wonderful, talented, kind, and genuine.  I know she's going to do amazing things with her life.  I can't wait to see what's in store for her.  I'm so proud of my little sister.  

My Girlfriend's Boyfriend

Okay you guys.  I just read the BEST book.  It's by one of my favorite authors, Elodia Strain.  I've written about her books before.  Her newest book is called My Girlfriend's Boyfriend.

It. Is. So. Good.

I started reading it one evening and stayed up way too late to finish it that same night.  I truly couldn't put it down.  Elodia is masterful at creating characters that are quirky, endearing, and real.  I am always able to connect with what they are feeling and experiencing.  Her book is funny but also inspiring.  I laughed out loud while reading it in the bookstore; I'm sure I looked like a total weirdo.  I was in tears by the end of the book, it was really that good.

I don't want to give too much away, so I won't share any more.  Even though it is kind of killing me to not share my favorite parts and all of the things I learned.  I'm the kind of person that hates even reading the synopsis because I don't like knowing too much about a book before I read it.  Just know this: it is awesome and you will love it.    

Also, did you know that My Girlfriend's Boyfriend is a movie?  The movie actually came first.  I had to watch it the day after I finished the book.  It was also REALLY good.  You can watch it for free on hulu here.  Or I believe you can watch it on Netflix.  And you should because I think you will really enjoy it.